Lyrics ♥ BUT I"M A GOOD GIRL ♥

The dress is Chanel

The shoes YSL

The bag is DIOR

Agent Provocateur

My address today, LA by the way

Above sunset strips, the hills all the way

My rings are Webster

It makes the heads twirl

They all say, "Darling, what did you do for those pearls?"

What! I am a good girl!

The age I adore, the day oh no more

Breakfast Polo Launch and pools at the shore

The Chateau for cocktails

The Courtyard at night

Downtown is for dinner

The hell is divine

You know I have found the words goin' round

They all say my feet never do touch the ground

What!

I am a good girl!

I am a good girl!

 ♥ LengZai™ ♥

LAUGH MY ASS OFF ...♥

Kid: Mum, can i wear a mini-skirt today?
Mum: No
Kid: Can i wear lipstick?
Mum: No
Kid: Can i wear high heels?
Mum: No!
Kid: But Mum im 17 years old!
Mum: I know Justin, i know

I don't understand the problem with calling someone from Pakistan a Paki.
It's just like calling an Australian an Aussie, a Scotmans a Scot, or a Frenchman a Cunt

To guys .
Us girls die on the inside when we see you with another girl . We find a way to twist what you said into a way that makes us feel like shit. If we don't have make up on we feel like we're not gonna be wanted. Not seeing you for a whole day can kill. But we plaster a fake smile on our face just so you feel like you've done nothing wrong. Think about that. </3
Dear Chicks
Shut up. Its you whining bitches guys try to avoid.

Sincerely guys.

^^Sperm arnt Babies you uneducated fuck, Go take a Biology class.
^^^ you uneducated fuck, go take an ENGLISH class, it's aren't.
^^^^^ You uneducated fuck, how about you go take an English class? sentences start with a capital letter.
^^^^^^^ You hypocritical fuck. Sentences start with a capital letter
.^^^^^^^^^^^You educated fuck. Good job!
^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Cool Story, Bro!!!

Dear Parents,
I stay up late, fall out with friends, have a messy room, literally LIVE on my lap-top, I'm lazy, and I'm ALWAYS texting. Though mum, dad, I'm NOT the only teenager that acts like that. I am just a TYPICAL teenager. So don't think your doing anything wrong, because your not. To be honest, if I WASN'T doing any of these, things, THEN you should be worried.
Sincerely,
Teenagers everywhere.

When you give a boy a blow job, and he ejaculates, and you swallow, you're swallowing hundreds of babies. YOU ARE NOW A CANNIBAL. Enjoy eating babies. <3

Dear Year 7, 8, 9, 10, 11 and 12.
Please stop going on about how you're all grown up and getting on with your life.
No-one really gives a shit. So shut up.
Sincerely,
A Kindergartener.

To vegetarians,
I eat the cows which produce the methane gas causing global warming, you eat the plants trying to fix global warming so who's really killing the planet?
From a non-vegetarian.

Among my friends I'm a renowned doctor, providing medical advice such as: "Hm.. It looks like you have a case of being a little bitch, I'm recommending a heavy dose of man the fuck up."

I hate it when theres 40 comments on a photo so you look at it and it turns out to be all girls saying how much they love each over...

I received a blank text from my wife the other day.
When I got in from work I asked "Why did you send me a blank text?"
"Because I'm not talking to you."

You: Teacher!
Teacher: Yes?
You: Can I ask you something?
Teacher: Sure, go on.
You: Would you punish me for something that I didn't do at all?
Teacher: Of course not.
You: Good, I didn't do my homework.

SAD STORII
boi nd girrrl were havn a sleeppover
gal: HEP HEP
boii: wat bab
gul: MY TOE IS STUF IN DA DORE
boi: OMG I HEP (boii puls hur and foot falls of)
GAL WAKS UP IN HOPITAL
gurl: where maii bf?!?!
mum: he donate he foot and he dead.
gurl now have sixe 11 ans size 5 fot.

*To whoever wrote this, Your the worst speller in the world and deserve to be thrown face first into a brick wall multiple times, The retarded sounds you'd make would be a better excuse for english language.

Guy: Hey
Girl: Hey
Guy: How are you?
Girl: I am bored. What about you, are you doing anything?
Guy: Цан и цоме овер анд лицк вагина?
(GO TO GOOGLE TRANSLATE AND TRANSLATE FROM SERBIAN TO ENGLISH)
Girl: Sure baby, if that's what you feel like.

Mother: WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?
Kid: Out.
Mother: HAVE YOU BEEN DRINKING?
Kid: No, just smoking weed, raping people, gang bashing anyone we can find, stealing cars, throwing bricks at windows, threatening people with axes, stealing TV's from Harvey Norman and mugging old lady's.
Mother: Oh, you had me worried for a second.

If you watch 127 Hours backwards it's an uplifting story about a disabled man finding an arm in the desert.

the awkward moment when you hear year sevens discussing that they are giving up there virginity for lent ...

yes, i have boobs, no you can't touch them, yes they are very big, no you can't touch them, yes my butt looks good in these pants, but yet again no you cant touch it
guy-*touches*
girl-- *flips guy over 20 feet in the air and bashes his face in when he hits the floor*
you had your fair warning, now don't touch
guy*touches again*

Go to Google translate.
Type "bad romance" from English to Serbian.
Copy and paste and put it from Serbian to English.
Your mind is now fucked.

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!" The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!" The man says: "You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

 ♥ LengZai™ ♥

funny sentence that might make you smile.. :)

LIKE A CHEESE STICK!
dad its g6.......

A guy broke into my appartment last week.. He didn't take the TV, just the remote. Now he drives by and changes the channels.. Sick bastard..

A boy gave his girlfriend a challenge; to live a day without him & if she did it he would love her more. The girl agreed and she didn't talk to him for a day without knowing he had only 24 hours so live because he was suffering from cancer. She went to his house the next day tears falling from her eyes as she saw him lying in a coffin with a note on the side:'You did it baby,you can do it everyday

A kid gave his teacher a blank piece of paper. Teacher: What is this? Kid: It's a drawing of a cow eating grass. Teacher: (looked at the paper) Where's the grass? Kid: The cow ate all of it. ...Teacher: (looked at the paper again)Then, where's the cow? Kid: It left because there was no more grass.
When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300°C. The Russians used a pencil.
Old people at weddings always poke me and say "You're next." So, I started doing the same thing to them at funerals
Boyfriend = tell me something that makes me happy and upset at the same time :) Girlfriend = your dicks bigger than all your friends... Boyfriend = .....
In your bed, it's 6AM, you close your eyes for 5 minutes, it's 7.45. At school, it's 1.30, you close your eyes for 5 minutes, it's 1.30.
facebook.com/profile.php?=73322363 <--- sexiest person ALIVE ;)
Lost your pen=no pen No pen=no notes Nonotes=no study No study=Fail Fail=no diploma No diploma=no work no work=no money no money=no food no food=you get skinny you get skinny=then you get ugly Ugly=no love no love=no marriage no marriage=no children no children= alone alone=depression depression=sickness sickness=death Lesson: Don’t lose your pen, you will die.. :P
A wife asked her husband: What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?.. He looked at her from head to toe and replied: your sense of humor.
Boy: Why are you straightening your hair? Girl: Because straightening it makes it longer. Boy: Really? Girl: Yeah. Didn't you know that? Boy: No.. Girl: Ok. Psychiatrist: So, why did you try to put your dick into a hair straightener? Boy: ....
I wish I could ask the sexiest person alive to be my valentine. But it would be pretty weird asking myself.
Today, my girlfriend finally got a Facebook account. Too bad she doesn't know the difference between a wall post and a message. She just described how much she enjoyed our sex last night, in great detail. My mom liked it.
Bob forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.
"Dude she just called you Italian" "Oh hell no, hold my iPod!" "what does that have to do with being Italian?" "Absolutely nothing, why?" "Nothing... I just thought since you were Italian, you'd be holding a pizza or something..."
"Dude, she just called you alcoholic!"- "Oh,hell no! Hold my... haha just kidding, don't touch my VODKA''
"Girl is over her boyfriend house" Boy:(Playing Xbox) Girl:(sitting on the boys bed sad) Boy:Whats wrong babe? Girl:Oh nothin Boy:(Turns off Xbox) Girl:Why did you stop playing? Boy:Cause my baby girl is more important than my xbox Girl:Awh(smiles) Boy:(cuddles with her in bed) Boy:I love you Girl:I love you too Boy&girl:(stare into each other eyes) Girl:(Fall asleep in boys arms)♥
Boy: Turns Xbox on.
5 things you can't do! 1) Lick your elbow. 2) tickle yourself. 3) Draw The Number Six While Making Clockwise Circles With Your Leg. 4) Fit your whole fist in your mouth. 5) Sneeze with your eyes open.
Dude, she just called you Asian, OH HELL NO!!!, hold my eyes open......
Akon-2008 "i wanna f**k you", Akon-2010 "i just had sex", Akon-2012 "that ain't my kid", Akon-2014 "i just got AIDS"...
Your car is Japanese. Your Vodka is Russian. Your pizza is Italian. Your kebab is Turkish. Your democracy is Greek. Your coffee is Brazilian. Your movies are American. Your Beers are German. Your shirt is Indian. Your oil is Saudi Arabian. Your electronics are Chinese. Your numbers -Arabic, your letters -Latin. And you complain that your neighbor is an immigrant?
BOY: you know, you are A B C D E F G H I J K? GIRL: what does it mean? BOY: Attractive, Brilliant, Cute, Dazzling, Elegant, Funny, Gorgeous, Hot! GIRL: so sweet! how about I J K? BOY: I'm Just Kidding!
My girlfriend phoned me and said, "Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over... Nobody was home...
*Your about to get arrested* Cop: Your in a lot of trouble! You: wait. wait! WAIT. Cop: WHAT!?
Okay, so you're 10 years old, you have a laptop, iPod, Facebook and a Blackberry. Dude when I was 10 I had pokémon cards.