Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Lyrics ♥ BUT I"M A GOOD GIRL ♥


The dress is Chanel
The shoes YSL
The bag is DIOR
Agent Provocateur
My address today, LA by the way
Above sunset strips, the hills all the way

My rings are Webster
It makes the heads twirl
They all say, "Darling, what did you do for those pearls?"
What! I am a good girl!

The age I adore, the day oh no more
Breakfast Polo Launch and pools at the shore
The Chateau for cocktails
The Courtyard at night
Downtown is for dinner
The hell is divine
You know I have found the words goin' round
They all say my feet never do touch the ground
What!
I am a good girl!

I am a good girl!



 ♥ LengZai™

Thursday, March 10, 2011

LAUGH MY ASS OFF ...♥

Kid: Mum, can i wear a mini-skirt today?
Mum: No
Kid: Can i wear lipstick?
Mum: No
Kid: Can i wear high heels?
Mum: No!
Kid: But Mum im 17 years old!
Mum: I know Justin, i know

I don't understand the problem with calling someone from Pakistan a Paki.
It's just like calling an Australian an Aussie, a Scotmans a Scot, or a Frenchman a Cunt

To guys .
Us girls die on the inside when we see you with another girl . We find a way to twist what you said into a way that makes us feel like shit. If we don't have make up on we feel like we're not gonna be wanted. Not seeing you for a whole day can kill. But we plaster a fake smile on our face just so you feel like you've done nothing wrong. Think about that. </3
Dear Chicks
Shut up. Its you whining bitches guys try to avoid.
Sincerely guys.

^^Sperm arnt Babies you uneducated fuck, Go take a Biology class.
^^^ you uneducated fuck, go take an ENGLISH class, it's aren't.
^^^^^ You uneducated fuck, how about you go take an English class? sentences start with a capital letter.
^^^^^^^ You hypocritical fuck. Sentences start with a capital letter
.^^^^^^^^^^^You educated fuck. Good job!
^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Cool Story, Bro!!!

Dear Parents,
I stay up late, fall out with friends, have a messy room, literally LIVE on my lap-top, I'm lazy, and I'm ALWAYS texting. Though mum, dad, I'm NOT the only teenager that acts like that. I am just a TYPICAL teenager. So don't think your doing anything wrong, because your not. To be honest, if I WASN'T doing any of these, things, THEN you should be worried.
Sincerely,
Teenagers everywhere.

When you give a boy a blow job, and he ejaculates, and you swallow, you're swallowing hundreds of babies. YOU ARE NOW A CANNIBAL. Enjoy eating babies. <3

Dear Year 7, 8, 9, 10, 11 and 12.
Please stop going on about how you're all grown up and getting on with your life.
No-one really gives a shit. So shut up.
Sincerely,
A Kindergartener.

To vegetarians,
I eat the cows which produce the methane gas causing global warming, you eat the plants trying to fix global warming so who's really killing the planet?
From a non-vegetarian.

Among my friends I'm a renowned doctor, providing medical advice such as: "Hm.. It looks like you have a case of being a little bitch, I'm recommending a heavy dose of man the fuck up."

I hate it when theres 40 comments on a photo so you look at it and it turns out to be all girls saying how much they love each over...

I received a blank text from my wife the other day.
When I got in from work I asked "Why did you send me a blank text?"
"Because I'm not talking to you."

You: Teacher!
Teacher: Yes?
You: Can I ask you something?
Teacher: Sure, go on.
You: Would you punish me for something that I didn't do at all?
Teacher: Of course not.
You: Good, I didn't do my homework.

SAD STORII
boi nd girrrl were havn a sleeppover
gal: HEP HEP
boii: wat bab
gul: MY TOE IS STUF IN DA DORE
boi: OMG I HEP (boii puls hur and foot falls of)
GAL WAKS UP IN HOPITAL
gurl: where maii bf?!?!
mum: he donate he foot and he dead.
gurl now have sixe 11 ans size 5 fot.
*To whoever wrote this, Your the worst speller in the world and deserve to be thrown face first into a brick wall multiple times, The retarded sounds you'd make would be a better excuse for english language.

Guy: Hey
Girl: Hey
Guy: How are you?
Girl: I am bored. What about you, are you doing anything?
Guy: Цан и цоме овер анд лицк вагина?
(GO TO GOOGLE TRANSLATE AND TRANSLATE FROM SERBIAN TO ENGLISH)
Girl: Sure baby, if that's what you feel like.

Mother: WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?
Kid: Out.
Mother: HAVE YOU BEEN DRINKING?
Kid: No, just smoking weed, raping people, gang bashing anyone we can find, stealing cars, throwing bricks at windows, threatening people with axes, stealing TV's from Harvey Norman and mugging old lady's.
Mother: Oh, you had me worried for a second.

If you watch 127 Hours backwards it's an uplifting story about a disabled man finding an arm in the desert.
the awkward moment when you hear year sevens discussing that they are giving up there virginity for lent ...

yes, i have boobs, no you can't touch them, yes they are very big, no you can't touch them, yes my butt looks good in these pants, but yet again no you cant touch it
guy-*touches*
girl-- *flips guy over 20 feet in the air and bashes his face in when he hits the floor*
you had your fair warning, now don't touch
guy*touches again*

Go to Google translate.
Type "bad romance" from English to Serbian.
Copy and paste and put it from Serbian to English.
Your mind is now fucked.

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!" The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!" The man says: "You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."



 ♥ LengZai™

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

funny sentence that might make you smile.. :)

LIKE A CHEESE STICK!
dad its g6.......

A guy broke into my appartment last week.. He didn't take the TV, just the remote. Now he drives by and changes the channels.. Sick bastard..

A boy gave his girlfriend a challenge; to live a day without him & if she did it he would love her more. The girl agreed and she didn't talk to him for a day without knowing he had only 24 hours so live because he was suffering from cancer. She went to his house the next day tears falling from her eyes as she saw him lying in a coffin with a note on the side:'You did it baby,you can do it everyday






A kid gave his teacher a blank piece of paper.
Teacher: What is this?
Kid: It's a drawing of a cow eating grass.
Teacher: (looked at the paper) Where's the grass?
Kid: The cow ate all of it.
...Teacher: (looked at the paper again)Then, where's the cow?
Kid: It left because there was no more grass.



When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300°C.

The Russians used a pencil.



Old people at weddings always poke me and say "You're next." So, I started doing the same thing to them at funerals


Boyfriend = tell me something that makes me happy and upset at the same time :) Girlfriend = your dicks bigger than all your friends... Boyfriend = .....



In your bed, it's 6AM, you close your eyes for 5 minutes, it's 7.45. At school, it's 1.30, you close your eyes for 5 minutes, it's 1.30.



facebook.com/profile.php?=73322363 <--- sexiest person ALIVE ;)


Lost your pen=no pen
No pen=no notes
Nonotes=no study
No study=Fail
Fail=no diploma
No diploma=no work
no work=no money
no money=no food
no food=you get skinny
you get skinny=then you get ugly
Ugly=no love
no love=no marriage
no marriage=no children
no children= alone
alone=depression
depression=sickness
sickness=death

Lesson: Don’t lose your pen, you will die.. :P



A wife asked her husband: What do you like most in me, my pretty face or
my sexy body?..
He looked at her from head to toe and replied: your
sense of humor.



Boy: Why are you straightening your hair?
Girl: Because straightening it makes it longer.
Boy: Really?
Girl: Yeah. Didn't you know that?
Boy: No..
Girl: Ok.
Psychiatrist: So, why did you try to put your dick into a hair straightener?
Boy: ....



I wish I could ask the sexiest person alive to be my valentine.

But it would be pretty weird asking myself.



Today, my girlfriend finally got a Facebook account. Too bad she doesn't know the difference between a wall post and a message. She just described how much she enjoyed our sex last night, in great detail. My mom liked it.


Bob forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was
really pissed.

She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the
driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!"

The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke
up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box
gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.



"Dude she just called you Italian"
"Oh hell no, hold my iPod!"
"what does that have to do with being Italian?"
"Absolutely nothing, why?"
"Nothing... I just thought since you were Italian, you'd be holding a pizza or something..."



"Dude, she just called you alcoholic!"- "Oh,hell no! Hold my... haha just kidding, don't touch my VODKA''


"Girl is over her boyfriend house"
Boy:(Playing Xbox)
Girl:(sitting on the boys bed sad)
Boy:Whats wrong babe?
Girl:Oh nothin
Boy:(Turns off Xbox)
Girl:Why did you stop playing?
Boy:Cause my baby girl is more important than my xbox
Girl:Awh(smiles)
Boy:(cuddles with her in bed)
Boy:I love you
Girl:I love you too
Boy&girl:(stare into each other eyes)
Girl:(Fall asleep in boys arms)♥

Boy: Turns Xbox on.


5 things you can't do!
1) Lick your elbow.
2) tickle yourself.
3) Draw The Number Six While Making Clockwise Circles With Your Leg.
4) Fit your whole fist in your mouth.
5) Sneeze with your eyes open.



Dude, she just called you Asian, OH HELL NO!!!, hold my eyes open......


Akon-2008 "i wanna f**k you", Akon-2010 "i just had sex", Akon-2012 "that ain't my kid", Akon-2014 "i just got AIDS"...


Your car is Japanese. Your Vodka is Russian. Your pizza is Italian. Your kebab is Turkish. Your democracy is Greek. Your coffee is Brazilian. Your movies are American. Your Beers are German. Your shirt is Indian. Your oil is Saudi Arabian. Your electronics are Chinese. Your numbers -Arabic, your letters -Latin. And you complain that your neighbor is an immigrant?


BOY: you know, you are A B C D E F G H I J K?
GIRL: what does it mean?
BOY: Attractive, Brilliant, Cute, Dazzling, Elegant, Funny, Gorgeous, Hot!
GIRL: so sweet! how about I J K?
BOY: I'm Just Kidding!



My girlfriend phoned me and said, "Come on over, there's nobody home."

I went over... Nobody was home...



*Your about to get arrested*
Cop: Your in a lot of trouble!
You: wait. wait! WAIT.
Cop: WHAT!?




Okay, so you're 10 years old, you have a laptop, iPod, Facebook and a Blackberry. Dude when I was 10 I had pokémon cards.










Saturday, February 19, 2011

Pek Cek+iest Day ever *MS

Stupid TNB!!! Useless ever...
Black-out for 9 hours!! And before that we called for don't know how many thousand times~~ and their response were only : "SORRY..OUR MAN WERE ON THE WAY"...
We called since 12 noon...and they reached around 2 or 3pm!! Damn slow~~worst than a pig runs!? >< Who the hell cares about your SORRY??!! *faker*
You knew everyone lost a lots of customer and income!! Please lar...if there were really an emergency..how??!! Die lur..
Some more..the opposite side's construction lagi wanted to kena F*** by peoples there!!! Damn brainless~~ Do projects without any proper planned..and now what!! Effected us and disrupted our hotel electricity and water supply!! The whole role of the buildings were like so dark!! and I'm damn sweat for the whole day!!! What the hell!!
Luckily some of the guest appreciated our unfavorable situation!! But there's also few guest never appreciate us!! Showing me their CB face!! Walao..you thought was my fault is it??!! Am I the one who purposely cut down the electricity!!?? NLB!!
The worst stuff was, the smelly CB KANASAI F guest...scolded me and my manager in front of all the guest!! CH~~ it wasn't your fault and wasn't mine too..!! I'm not relying that was TNB's fault!! MCH~ kept scolding none stop..
What can I do?? I couldn't give you a actual time that when the electricity will be fixed.. and yet you're forcing me to give you a time!! I was just telling you maybe about one or two hours more...and you shouted at me whether it confirmed or not!! Stupid hell..!! The rubbish TNB men also couldn't let us know whether it could be fixed or not~~ how the hell should I confirm with you!!??
Not only your room was black-out!! Is the whole roll of the buildings were black-out..!!
And if you're not happy with it, you may just took your refund and go to another hotel!! But why you kept argue with us!! Sifat you...
Even worst was, we worked out a situation that to solve the problems and yet you said you don't want the refund and just want to rest!! But how??! There were no electricity.. And I'm telling that I may refund for you!! Then you said I'm chasing you away~~ WTF!!!
So damn LC..packed the luggage and threw the key to me!! Who the hell you think you are?!! Huh!? you were just a cheapskate!! If I was the owner of the hotel...see what will I do to you..LLM~
Today was the worst day ever..

LengZai™

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

New clothes for Rabbit year 2011♥

02 Feb 2011
Chinese New Year is around the corner while I'm still very lazy to clean up my room!! LOL..
Some more i bought my new clothes just on the new year's eve..hahaha..
ps* Everything also done it last minute.. xD

In the early morning...i date my lovely cousin shopping with me! Because she also haven't buy any new clothes for herself...
we are as same as a TWIN.. both also lazy bums!
we both started shopping from morning till night. Woah~ 
And i wasted lots of money!! T.T sigh~~
but feel badly for we have no enough time to buy high-heels..!!!!!


my eyes become so small... -.-


While we are waiting mama buy clothes..we "borrow" the shop's mirror and took lots of stupid photos..!! It was fun while we taking stupid photos!! Some more we laughed at each other ugly face..damn funny!! i LOVE jiahui..





there were too many photos...i only uploaded few pictures! haha..
and our photo ends up with a story!!

 i you! Do you?


jh: go away and leave me alone! *angry
lzai: sorry..pls don't angry.. :X

lzai: I may die for you.. x.x
jh: ohhh..

я тебя люблю
je t'aime
te amo
ฉันรักเธอ
te quiero
私は愛する
i you
愛你

our stupid photos end..

below was the loveliest part...my new clothes!!! but spent lots of money..

CHAPTER 8

APEE

FOS *MM & MM

V FEEL

MBK

ISETAN

SOX WORLD


VINCCI

VINCCI

CONVERSE

pasar malam

cousin bring back from JP for me *wee~


CK

sifat!! straighten and hair cut RM400++.. added up everything i almost wasted RM1360.00

thanks jiahui!! for accompanying me...

the end
  
 ♥ LengZai™


Saturday, February 12, 2011

一個人的情人节、也可以很快樂 : A person's Valentine's Day can also be very happy ♥

谁说情人节一定是要两个人的??
Who says Valentine's Day had to be two people??
谁规定情人节就一定要两个人了??
Who set that Valentine's Day had to be two people??

没有!
No!
就算没有情人, 还是可以过情人节不是嘛??
Even without a lover, we can still celebrate Valentine's Day...isn't it??

单身不是, 只是我们都不想交往
Single is not a CRIME, we just don't want to be a part of one's
这不是自我安慰, 只是说实话
This is not self-comfort, just telling the truth

情人节, 虽然没有巧克力或玫瑰
Although there's no chocolates or roses for Valentine's Day
又怎样??
So what??

可以自己买给自己啊..也可以买给朋友
We can buy for own or for friends
谁说情人节一定要一男一女了
Who says Valentine's Day must be a man and a woman

女生和女生还是一样可以过情人节啊...
Is also the same for girls and girls' Valentine Day
就算没有情人也没关系!! 至少还有你的朋友..家人!!
Doesn't matter even though without a lover!! At least you still have your friends and family

看开点嘛!! 像情侣酱,总是羡慕我们这些单身的,
Try to be understand a bit!! Like most couples, always envy those who was still singles one,
这些都是你们羡慕不来
 These are the envy doesn't come to you

很多人都是这么说的: 在交往的人往往总是羡慕单身的人, 单身的人往往总是羡慕在恋爱的人
Many people are saying: most couples are envious of singles and singles always tend to envy people who are in love

而我不这么认为, 单身最好!!
But i don't think so, SINGLE IS THE BEST!!

要去哪就去哪, 没人管, 自由自在
To go anywhere with own permission, nobody nagging besides and like a free bird
至少还有朋友
At least you still have friends

单身的朋友們...争气点吧!!
Friends that are still singles...strive!!
不要因为没有情人就不能过情人节
You stil can celebrate Valentine's Day without a Lover but a partner
和朋友一起过也可以很疯狂 :)
Celebrate together with a troop of friends can be very crazy too

就把情人节换成单身节不就行了吧..
Just change Valentine's Day to Single's Day
别老是说...好羡慕他们哦~~你自己也行的
Don't keep telling that..you're envying them~~
trust yourself...you can be one of them too

反正还年轻..还怕你嫌情人节多叻!
You're still young anyway...maybe you may also blame that there were too many Valentine's Days!

单身无罪, 单身万岁
Single are innocence, HURRAY
LengZai™

Sunday, January 23, 2011

LOve poEm ♥

i love you so deeply,
I love you so much,
I love the sound of your voice
And the way that we touch.
I love your warm smile
And your kind, thoughtful way,
The joy that you bring
To my life every day.
I love you today
As I have from the start,
And I'll love you forever
With all of my heart.